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Posts Tagged ‘Richie Havens “License To Kill”; Catherine L. Johnson:’

Richie Havens “License To Kill”

Verbal abuse, 
physical abuse
 and
 emotional abuse
 all come from
 a need to control.
 
 
MOST ABUSERS 
LACK EMPATHY.
 
 
 They 
dehumanize 
and 
treat people like
 inane objects,
 extensions of themselves,
 or
 instruments to be played 
as they wish.
 
 
 Physical, 
psychological,
 verbal 
and 
sexual abuses 
are all forms of 
 dehumanization 
and 
objectification.
 
 They view their
 victim
 as nothing more
 than a comfortable, old chair
 that can be easily discarded
 should it become 
uncomfortable.
 
The

 CONTROLLER’S

 level of comfort is 
their only concern
 and 
they will sell 
you
 down the river
 to hold
onto their
own
comfort.
 
The 

need to control

is the
main factor
in the
DESTRUCTION
 of our relationships.
This is the
ROOT
 TRUTH

 in the full spectrum,

 arc of relationships:

from the
INTERNAL

– our multiple and unfolding selves

to the
EXTERNAL

–  our private associations

 and 

our public personas

 and 

actions.

 
 
Individual.
Collective.
Community.
Society.
Culture.
Nation.
 
 Feelings
of
fear,
 worthlessness,
 inadequacy
 and
 shame
 are
deep seated roots
 that turn an individual,
an ensemble of individuals,
a governing body,
 into controlling
 individuals/nations. 
The feelings
of their own self-worth 
are tied
to how well
they can get others
 to bend to their whims 
and
 to follow their orders.
  They have a driving need
to get control
of their lives,
 which
means controlling circumstances,
 and
people,
especially the people
 from whom they

 need 

love and affirmation.

 

 

 Once you start 

trying to force 

that 

kind of control

 over

 people 

 conflict will follow.

 

 

Controlling individuals

 have a low tolerance
 for any kind of
emotional pain
– especially feelings
of
shame,
 fear 
and
 rejection
of
what
THEY

believe

 to be right and wrong.

 When something happens

in their life

 to bring forth these

intolerable emotions

 they find ways to cope

 and 

normally

the coping skills 

mean

ABUSE

 for those

 in relationships

 with 

the

controlling individual.

 

Instead of looking

internally

 and
 trying to figure out

 WHY

 they have such
negative emotions 
the controlling individual
will bury the pain,
 live in denial of it
 and 
distort the reality
 of their
 behaviors.

 How often have you heard 

an abuser 

blame the person they abuse

 for their actions? 

It is easier to

 BLAME

 someone else

 for bad behavior 

than to admit 

they need help

 and 

to face those

 PAINFUL

 EMOTIONS

 head on.

Wayne LaPierre speaks on the one-week anniversary of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings. 

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Q/A: 
DOES THE INDIVIDUAL IN THE ABOVE PHOTOGRAPH
SEEM TO EXPRESS
 VIOLENCE OR COMPASSION?

vi·o·lence

  [vahy-uh-luh ns] 

noun
1.
swift and intense force: the violence of a storm.
2.

rough or injurious physical force, action, or treatment: to die byviolence.
3.

an unjust or unwarranted exertion of force or power, 
as againstrights or laws:
 to take over a government by violence.
4.

violent act or proceeding.
5.

rough or immoderate vehemence,
 as of feeling or language
theviolence of his hatred.
AND/OR

com·pas·sion

  [kuh m-pash-uh n] 

noun
a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow 
for another who is stricken by misfortune,
accompanied by astrong desire
 to alleviate the suffering.
I am still unable to drive.

27 December will mark the three month
“anniversary”
of my
 NewKneeME.

 I fell on 25 November.

I fell because I was devastated
by someone ,
who I care deeply for,
blindsided me with a
verbal assault.

CAUSE AND EFFECT.

I was unprepared for this behavior.
I was so shaken that I tripped while using my walker.
I sprained my back.
Pain level 7 to 10.
I now go to physical therapy
three times a week:
twice for my back
and
once  for the rehab of my

NewKneeME.

 

Love is an energy.
COMPASSION
is an energy.
One cannot express
 and 
act 
violent and compassionate
simultaneously.
IMPOSSIBLE .
I use a MedCab to travel to and from my medical appointments.
My health insurance covers the expense.
I am so grateful.
The MedCab service I use is owned and operated
by
Russian immigrants.
All the drivers are all gentleman.
All the drivers want to learn English fluently.
The drivers listen to the radio to assist in their self-education.
One driver, a man in his early thirties, a gentle bear,
listens to
Rush Limbaugh.
I do not choose to listen to Rush Limbaugh.
He rants.
I am sensitive,
and
listening to the rhythm
of his
rants
is
disturbing.

Rat-tat-tat

Rush Limbaugh is like an assault weapon, a Bushmaster rifle
with a continous supply of magazines.
RAT-TAT-TAT.
RAT-TAT-TAT.
RAT-TAT-TAT.
Angry.
Ranting.
Frantic,
Angry
Ranting.
 
This particular driver listens to Rush Limbaugh to learn English.
Think what rants,
 angry, frantic, unending rants
does to 
the 
human brain?
 
Think how an unending
RAT-TAT-TAT
does
to 
the listener’s/the reader’s
psyche,
soul?
 
This driver picked me up to go to the
 Physicians Neck and Back Clinic
this past Monday morning.
The

RAT-TAT-TAT

was
on.
With a combinationn of hand gestures, 
facial expressions,
and 
speaking slowly,
I stated that listening
to angry,
frantic rants
may
help him learn English,
yet,
this barrage of
 hate,
pummeling,
stone heart
will
affect
him.
 
I asked him, if I could select a  radio station
 for him
that would broaden the field
 his experience,
his comprehension,
of the
range and subtley
of 
English and its expression,
world view of priorities,
of its
thought patterns.
 
He agreed.
I found NPR.
 
He picked me up on Wednesday for yet another appointment.
He pointed to the radio.
The language, the diversity of NPR was inside his MedCab.
 

 

RANTS,

 CONCEPTUAL CONSTRUCTS

OF

INEXHAUSTIBLE ANGER,

 ARE 

WEAPONS

OF

SELF-DESTRUCTION

AND

INJURE

THEIR

LISTENER/READER.

 

PRIMAL, GLADIATOR,

FIGHT OR FLIGHT.

ALWAYS

SEARCHING

FOR

ANOTHER

FIX.

 
ANGER AS A FUEL
 IS AN 
ADRENALINE
 RUSH.
 
IT IS CONVENTIONAL WISDOM
WHAT OCCURS/HAPPENS
TO ONE’S
BODY & SOUL
WITH 
CONSTANT
ADRENALINE 
RUNNING
THROUGH 
YOUR 
VEINS.
 
ANGER RANTS KILLS YOU.
IT KILLS FORGIVENESS.
IT KILLS LOVE.
IT KILLS TENDERNESS.
IT KILLS INTIMACY.
IT KILLS INTER-CONNECTEDNESS.
IT KILLS THE IDEATION
AND
THE ACTIONS
OF
PEACE ON EARTH.
IT CAN CONTROL YOU.
IT CAN CONTROL OTHERS.
ANGER, FRANTIC ANGRY RANTS
ARE
ASSAULT
WEAPONS.
 
YES,
VIOLENCE,
ANGRY, FRANTIC RANTS
–  THE IN AND OUT LAWS
OF SOCIETY,
OF CULTURE,
OF
PUBLIC PERSONAS.
HEARTS OF STONE, NOT FLESH.

YES,

THE HEART OF KINDNESS,
OF

COMPASSION IS THE R/EVOLUTION.

SPEAK NO EVIL.

 
 

ONE CANNOT ACT VIOLENT

AND

COMPASSIONATE

AT ONCE.

CHOOSE.

CREATE

A

R/EVOLUTION

OF

COMPASSION.

BE

A

CATALYST

OF

SOCIAL CHANGE.

Wayne LaPierre speaks on the one-week anniversary of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings. 

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Q/A: 
DOES THE INDIVIDUAL IN THE ABOVE PHOTOGRAPH
SEEM TO EXPRESS
 VIOLENCE OR COMPASSION?
 
Question: 
How Can Someone Identify and Respond to Verbal Abuse?

Verbal abuse is difficult to identify and regrettably

 can be a common type of abuse in some relationships.

Not all words that are meant to hurt are “ugly words.” 

A master at verbal abuse can damage your self-esteem while, 

at the same time, appear to care deeply for you. 

The use of words to punish is a very covert attempt to control 

and 

regardless of how loving the significant other

 may appear to be,

 verbal abuse is wrong 

and 

can be just has harmful as

 physical abuse.

Answer:

Physical abuse is easily identified.

 There is no doubt, once you have been hit,

that you have been physically abused. 

You don’t second guess yourself because the bruises 

and

 scars are visible evidence

that abuse has taken place. 

Verbal abuse is different.

 The damage is internal,

 there are no physical bruises or scars,

 just a wounded spirit

and

damaged sense of self-esteem.

 

Below are some common signs of verbal abuse:

  • Being called names by a significant individual in your life: 
  • Any negative form of name calling is unacceptable.
  •  If you feel that it is a put down, then it most likely is.
  •  There are names that are obvious and, without question abusive. 
  • Then there are the covert, veiled attempts 
  • to put someone down that are harder to identify.
  •  Verbal abusers love to use constructive criticism to beat a significant other down.
  •  If the significant other is constantly criticizing you, 
  • “for your own good,”
  •  be careful.
  •  This is the most insidious form of verbal abuse.
 
  • Using words to shame
  • Critical, sarcastic, mocking words meant to put you down
  •  either alone or in front of other people.
  • Yelling, swearing and screaming
  • the “walking on eggs shells” syndrome
  •  because you are living with someone 
  • who goes 
  • verbally ballistic 
  • for very little cause.
  • Using threats to intimidate:
  •  No threat should be taken lightly, 
  • even if the significant other
  •  tells you they are only joking,
  •  especially if it causes you to change behaviors
  •  or
  •  to feel on guard in the relationship.
  • Blaming the victim: 
  • The significant other blows his/her top
  •  and
  •  then blames you for their actions and behavior.
  •  If you were only perfect they wouldn’t lose control!
  • Your feelings are dismissed
  • The significant other refuses to discuss issues that upset you.
  •  They avoid discussion of any topic 
  • where they might
  •  have to take responsibility 
  • for 
  • their actions or words.
  • You often wonder why you feel so bad.:
  • You bury your feelings, 
  • walk on egg shells 
  • and
  •  work so hard at keeping the peace
  •  that every day becomes an emotional chore. 
  • You feel depressed 
  • and 
  • have even wondered if you are crazy.
  • Manipulating your actions:
  •  The persistent and intense use of threatening words 
  • to get you to do something or act in a way 
  • you find uncomfortable. 
  • This form of verbal abuse is common
  •  at the end of a relationship.
  •  If your significant other doesn’t end the relationship 
  • they will say whatever
  •  it takes to play on your emotions,
  •  to get you to stay in the relationship. 
  • All

  •  in an attempt

  •  to get you to 

  • comply

  •  with their desires, 

  • regardless of what is

  •  BEST

  •  for you

  •  as an individual.

 

Responding to Verbal Abuse:

If  the  significant person you are closest to habitually, 

verbally abuses you 

and

 dismisses your feelings,

 you will begin to see yourself 

and

 your needs as unimportant,

 of little consequence and irrelevant. 

When you finally recognize and come to terms with the idea

 that you are being verbally abused

 you need to also become focused on getting help. 

 

Here are some steps you can take

if faced with verbal abuse:

  • Abuse is never justified so,

     you should

    NEVER

    feel

    that it is

    YOUR

    fault.

     
  • Let the abuser know how hurtful
  •  their words are.
  •   Discuss with them the fact that it is unacceptable to you.
  •  Set boundaries on what you will and will not accept from your abuser.
  • Seek counseling,
  • either together or separately.
  • Surround yourself with a support system. 
  • Discuss with them what is happening and how you are feeling.
  •  
  • If the verbal abuse 
  • escalates to physical abuse,
  •  leave. 
  • Your personal safety is far more important than the relationship.
     
    Do not engage in conflict
     with your abuser
    If the significant other becomes angry,
     stay calm, walk away  
    and  
    don’t give him/her what they want:
    a reaction from you.
  •  
     
  • Take back your power
    If you react to the abuser, you are rewarding them. 
    Letting them know they have power over your emotions. 
    Don’t allow the abuser to have control over how you feel.
     
  • Leave the relationship. 
  • If setting boundaries, getting therapy
  •  and refusing to respond to the abuse doesn’t work, 
  • then it is time to consider ending the relationship.
  • . There are times when the best thing
  •  you can do for yourself is, break all ties with your abuser. 
  • If you make this decision hire an attorney
  •  familiar with
  • domestic violence,
  •  stay in close contact with your support system 
  • and
  •  focusing on learning
  • good coping skills.
 
 
 Wayne LaPierre speaks on the one-week anniversary of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings. 

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Q/A: 

QUESTION:

DOES THE INDIVIDUAL

IN THE ABOVE PHOTOGRAPH

SEEM TO EXPRESS

 VIOLENCE OR COMPASSION?

ANSWER:

The photograph is of

Wayne LaPierre,

Executive Vice President

of the

National Rifle Association,

 “The only thing that will

stop a bad guy

with a gun

is a good guy with a gun,”

he said.

Larry Pratt,

Executive Director

of Gun Owners of America,

which is like the

National Rifle Association,

said the other day:

“Gun control supporters

have the

blood of little children

on their hands.

Federal and state laws combined

to insure that no teacher,

no administrator,

no adult had a gun

at the Newtown school

where the children

were murdered.”

BOSTON GLOBE  READER’S

COMMENT ONTHE NRA’s LA PIERRE’S STATEMENT:

Dear Lord, is the National Rifle Association kidding?

In his news conference Friday, NRA executive vice president Wayne LaPierre

called the severely mentally ill “genuine monsters.”

Civilized society has come a long way,

but it appears that NRA leadership has not.

Making this charge against the severely mentally ill

makes the NRA as dangerous

as the severely mentally ill who own guns.

Deflecting the issue will not get the NRA

or

the rest of America where we need to be.

The NRA calls for placing armed guards in our schools.

Well, great — the mentally ill will still own guns

and

will then go to ballfields and parks, grocery stores,

restaurants, malls, theaters, etc.

Thoughtfully developing

and

responsibly implementing gun-control policies

and

mechanisms that keep guns out of the hands of the mentally ill

will get us further down a more humane road.

If the portion of American society that owns guns

does not push for legislation to filter the mentally ill from owning them,

then we must BAN guns altogether.

As a civilized, highly evolved society, however,

we must address the mentally ill

with as much compassion and equality as we can muster.

Deborah Birdsong

Weisman

Cambridge 

Think armed civilians without training.

HOW ABOUT DISARMED PEOPLE?

WILLING TO COME TO THE TABLE

UNARMED, VULNERABLE, OPEN,

CONSIDERING THE SUFFERINGS

OF

OTHERS?

THIS IS CHRISTMAS.

The time of love

– a circle,

the beginning and the ending and the beginning…

JESUS CHRIST

WAS A

SOCIAL REVOLUTIONARY.

HE TURNED OVER TABLES,

WELCOMED THOSE WHO WERE

INVISIBLE,

DESPISED,

SPARROWS.

HE BROKE THE LAWS.

HE DID NOT RANT.

HE

SANG

THE

heart music

GOSPEL

OF

LOVE.

LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

COME LITTLE CHILDREN.

 

With Malice toward none, with charity for all,

with firmness in the right,

as God gives us to see the right,

let us strive on to finish the work we are in,

to bind up the nation’s  wounds.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

 

 

 

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.

Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.

Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

 CHOOSE WHAT

YOU

WANT

IN

YOUR

HEART.

GO INSIDE

YOUR

INTERNAL CONSTELLATION.
BE BRAVE.
BE COURAGEOUS.
SLUICE THROUGH THE DARKNESS.

  COMPASSION’S

TRUTH

IS

AN

ENERGY.

A PRACTICE.

A PRAYER WHEEL.

RELEASE IT TO THE WORLD.

IT RESIDES IN YOU.

IT IS YOUR HUMANITY.


SPEAK SOFTLY.  

LIGHT A CANDLE

IN YOUR DARKEST,

MOST WOUNDED

PART OF YOU.

 LOVE,

AUTHENTIC LOVE

RESPECTS,

HONORS,

DISARMS

AND

HEALS.

HALLELUJAH !

hal·le·lu·jah

[hal-uh-loo-yuh]

interjection
1.
Praise ye the Lord!
noun

2.

an exclamation of “hallelujah!”
3.

a shout of joy, praise, or gratitude.
4.

a musical composition wholly
or
principally based upon the word “hallelujah.”

Leonard Cohen “Hallelujah”

 

Jeff Buckley “Hallelujah” (Original Studio Version)

 

 

 

 

 

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